impromptuz

in a very 犯賤 mode.
i can’t stop thinking about classes when i’m having holidays.
similarly,
i can’t stop thinking about holidays when i was having classes.

can I be a student for life?? So I can learn and hv long holidays and face no competition (as in career-wise)?~~

there are many classes that I wanna take asap so that
1) solely for the holy purpose of learning– self-improvement/ add value, whtever u called it.
2) I could be more equipped with practical knowledge for internship interviews
3) i could share wht i’ve learnt with people or to enrich this blog/daily conversation with more solid info instead of rubbish.
e.g. all the classes that im taking next semester. i really look forward to learning those, especially fluid mechanics, accounting and probability.
e.g. transportation analysis, finance theory, microeconomics, optimization, operations management and game theory.

grrrrrrr………………

anyway. im going to okinawa tomorrow la

okokok….
wont bore you guys with every single details of my academic /daily life anymore
the next entries would be about  沖縄家庭自駕遊！！！ ^_____^
time to practice my nihongo!! gogogoo~~~

第一次在校園哭  是在freshman的第一個學期。
那時，我呆站在lobby 7 外的石階，下午12時，轉課上課的學生 來去上落。

明明已經跟自己說了很多遍 “take it easy”，不散的的失望情緒還是讓我有想哭的衝動。原來淚水早已不爭氣地在眼眶裡打轉，正午的陽光一縷一縷地刺入汪汪瞳眸，粼粼淚眼中糊成碎狀的人群在晃動著。我用袖子擦著眼角，淚水卻越抹越多。我淺嘗到了麻省理工式的霎時絕望，如果我當時就能領悟阿爾貝·卡繆在”The Plague”裡中所說“a habit of despair is worse than despair itself”，我怎可能讓這開端熬成當下的chronic 挫敗感。

不知所措的我拿起電話，邊努力回想著xg的香港手提號碼，邊按著家的區號＋852。撥通了，熟識的聲線讓我鎮定了點。頭二十秒，聽筒充斥著嘆氣聲，哽咽的呼吸聲和斷續的語句。在同輩前輩後輩前總不能示弱，只有在這哭訴的首選前才可以坦白釋懷。失望的單一原因現在已經微不足道，但處女座的特色總tends to 把煩惱放大伸延，腦裡不停運轉猜想其他分枝問題和潛在的domino effect。

一次又一次的despair，太陽還是照常升起，生活還是如常進行。正如詩人Robert Frost對於生活的三字總結：It goes on. 的確，每天我們都若有所失，不用等到年底的new year’s resolution，又自然重新開始。的確，scientifically speaking，每一天都可以是new year day。每一刻地球都在依據orbital path某一點完成一次revolution。不用理會曆法上的新年，其實每一刻 都可以是 立志定下resolution ，令下一刻更進步的 元旦。