wth??

Diary on July 1 2004

好啦, 媽媽同我報左日文班啦, 日文..我最卑視人地學既language
估唔到我自己要學. yeeeee!!!!本來哥哥同我學架麻
但係佢宜家又唔學, 有冇搞錯呀 又要我做埋晒d我完全無興趣既野
唉也,好慘呀, 都唔知做乜, 我好憎日本仔架麻><“!!
你叫我學一d europe既language 我一定好想去學囉

haaaaaaaaaaaaaahaaaaaaaahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
can’t stop @______@ ing

haha love and hate can be sooo polarized and mutable sometimes

“讓我將生活徹底擊破 砌一個全新的我”

“philip, behave yourself!!!” —by 吳振宇 @ “衝上雲霄”

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useless

所有事情只想令我更加快點離開這裡 只想時間快點accelerate
我的理由不夠說服力 就不是理由嗎

當同一告誡每日反覆出現 可以不被pissed off 嗎 你說
請不要再用你們放工回家所見的 就斷定斷言我整天也是這個模樣

不過也不用擔心了 被censor/monitor的日子很快,很快過去
時間快帶我離開這裡, 現在, 立刻, 盡快.
道別誰我也會哭,但唯獨擺脫你們,我誓不哭

most relieving moment:
woke up from a nightmare and realized it was just a dream
most haunting moment:
in deep shit and know clearly that you are in no illusion
difficult moment:
captivated by wild imagination,
and once such big-dream became reality, it loses its luster.
永遠に沈むような,錯覚に抱かれて
就像永遠沉了一樣 一直抱擁著錯覺
何処まで 正気に居られるのか?
究竟要去到那裡為止 才可真正神智清醒地存於此世?

lamp

LAMP – BUMP OF CHICKEN

小さく震える手にはマッチ 今にもランプに火を灯す
震抖著的小手 即將要用火柴 把火光燃點起
とまらぬ泪を乾かすタメ ようやく振った なけなしの勇気
為了弄乾停不下的眼淚 他最後也終揮出 所剩無幾的勇氣


思いつく限りの夢や理想を 残らずポッケにつめこんできた
只要想得到來的夢和理想 也把它們全部放進這個口袋裡面
ポッケに開いてた穴を見つけて 泣き出す瞬間 呼びかける声
打開口袋時 卻發現穿了一個小洞 在正要哭出來的瞬間 竟聽到了一把呼叫聲


「ハロー、ハロー、気付いておくれ 君の中で待っていたんだよ
hello, hello 請留意我! 我在你體內 一直在等阿
大丈夫、大丈夫、僕は君のハートに住む 情熱のランプだよ」
請放心 放心 我是居住在你內心的 熱情的lamp!

落とした夢 理想の類 それを探しさまよう道を照らしだすよ
我會照亮 你邊彷徨邊尋找著的這條 充滿落空的夢和理想的路阿
ハートのランプ 今まで気付かなかった誇れるベストフレンド
內心的lamp 是到現在還未察覺到 卻最應炫耀的best friend

もらえる限りの 愛や安心を 入れたカバン大事にしてきた
要好好珍重 這放了收到的愛和安心的袋子
そいつも誰かにひったくられて くたばる寸前 呼びかける声
當這袋子被誰略奪 自己精疲力盡的咫尺之前 竟聽見了一把呼叫聲


「ハロー、ハロー、聞こえるだろう? 君の中にずっと居たんだよ
hello, hello, 聽到我吧? 我一直在你體內居住阿
大丈夫、大丈夫、いつも一緒だよ 君と生きる情熱のランプだよ」
請放心 別害怕 我們會常常在一起 和你一起生存的熱情的lamp


失くした愛 安心の類 それを探し 凍える道を温めるよ
我會烘暖 這道充滿了丟失的愛和心 你尋找著的冰冷之路
ハートのランプ 今まで気付かなかった 頼れるパートナー

內心的lamp是到現在還未察覺到 卻值得信賴 的partner


「君が強く望みさえすれば
你若是懷著強烈的希望
照らしだそう 温めよう 歩くタメの勇気にだってなるよ」
就要有 令自己拿出光明及溫暖 推動自己前行 的勇氣呀

約束しろよ ハートのランプ もう一度僕を歩かせてくれ
我跟你承諾好阿 內心的lamp 再次讓我前進
「ヘンだな 僕は君自身だよ 自分が信じれないのかい?
「奇怪了 我就是你的自身呀 你自己也不敢相信吧?


小さく震える手にはマッチ 今にもランプに火を灯す
震抖著的小手 即將要用火柴 把火光燃點起
闇に凍えるこの身を救う 最後の術は この身の中に
解救了在黑暗中僵冷的自己 最後的(自救)方法 就在於自己
夢や理想 愛 安心の類 それを手にする チカラが情熱
夢想,想理,, 安心之類 用雙手去實現的力量 就叫熱情

小さく震える手にはマッチ 僕らが僕らに呼びかける声
震抖著的小手 即將要用火柴 我們呼唤自己的声音

ようやく聞こえた やっと気付いた 泪を乾かすチカラ
最後聽見了 終於注意到了 把淚乾掉的力量
当たり前の事に気付いた 自分自身知らなかった自分自身
注意到了理所當然的事 自己也不曾明白的自身
落としたモノ 失くした類 探す道を歩ける勇気
在尋找落空了失去了的東西 的道上 步走的勇氣
僕の中の情熱のランプ 今にもマッチは芯に触れる
在我內心熱情的lamp 即將燃起你的心
今にもマッチは芯に触れる
即將燃亮起你的心

comment: (translated on June 18, 2008 3:05am)

another fantastic lyrics written by fujiwara!!
this is exactly the self-healing/self-companion idea which i always believe…
after all, you are the one who would really sacrifice anything for yourself
your passion is the lamp that will never extinguish in your life ..
and guide/strengthen you to pave your own path!

(so wht i hv to do now is to rekindle this lamp to stop my ‘nothingness’ …-_-”
how shocked im to realize..i’ve written 14 posts in 7 days,..wht the hell…
maybe i should lock my laptop and get a life haha)

by ben jones

  1. Your friends will change a lot over the next four years. Let them.
  2. Call someone you love back home a few times a week, even if just for a few minutes.
  3. In college more than ever before, songs will attach themselves to memories. Every month or two, make a mix cd, mp3 folder, whatever – just make sure you keep copies of these songs. Ten years out, they’ll be as effective as a journal in taking you back to your favorite moments.
  4. Take naps in the middle of the afternoon with reckless abandon.
  5. Adjust your schedule around when you are most productive and creative. If you’re nocturnal and do your best work late at night, embrace that. It may be the only time in your life when you can.
  6. If you write your best papers the night before they are due, don’t let people tell you that you “should be more organized” or that you “should plan better.” Different things work for different people. Personally, I worked best under pressure – so I always procrastinated… and always kicked ass (which annoyed my friends to no end). ;-) Use the freedom that comes with not having grades first semester to experiment and see what works best for you.
  7. At least a few times in your college career, do something fun and irresponsible when you should be studying. The night before my freshman year psych final, my roommate somehow scored front row seats to the Indigo Girls at a venue 2 hours away. I didn’t do so well on the final, but I haven’t thought about psych since 1993. I’ve thought about the experience of going to that show (with the guy who is now my son’s godfather) at least once a month ever since.
  8. Become friends with your favorite professors. Recognize that they can learn from you too – in fact, that’s part of the reason they chose to be professors.
  9. Carve out an hour every single day to be alone. (Sleeping doesn’t count.)
  10. Go on dates. Don’t feel like every date has to turn into a relationship.
  11. Don’t date someone your roommate has been in a relationship with.
  12. When your friends’ parents visit, include them. You’ll get free food, etc., and you’ll help them to feel like they’re cool, hangin’ with the hip college kids.
  13. In the first month of college, send a hand-written letter to someone who made college possible for you and describe your adventures thus far. It will mean a lot to him/her now, and it will mean a lot to you in ten years when he/she shows it to you.
  14. Embrace the differences between you and your classmates. Always be asking yourself, “what can I learn from this person?” More of your education will come from this than from any classroom.
  15. All-nighters are entirely overrated.
  16. For those of you who have come to college in a long-distance relationship with someone from high school: despite what many will tell you, it can work. The key is to not let your relationship interfere with your college experience. If you don’t want to date anyone else, that’s totally fine! What’s not fine, however, is missing out on a lot of defining experiences because you’re on the phone with your boyfriend/girlfriend for three hours every day.
  17. Working things out between friends is best done in person, not over email. (IM does not count as “in person.”) Often someone’s facial expressions will tell you more than his/her words.
  18. Take risks.
  19. Don’t be afraid of (or excited by) the co-ed bathrooms. The thrill is over in about 2 seconds.
  20. Wednesday is the middle of the week; therefore on wednesday night the week is more than half over. You should celebrate accordingly. (It makes thursday and friday a lot more fun.)
  21. Welcome failure into your lives. It’s how we grow. What matters is not that you failed, but that you recovered.
  22. Take some classes that have nothing to do with your major(s), purely for the fun of it.
  23. It’s important to think about the future, but it’s more important to be present in the now. You won’t get the most out of college if you think of it as a stepping stone.
  24. When you’re living on a college campus with 400 things going on every second of every day, watching TV is pretty much a waste of your time and a waste of your parents’ money. If you’re going to watch, watch with friends so at least you can call it a “valuable social experience.”
  25. Don’t be afraid to fall in love. When it happens, don’t take it for granted. Celebrate it, but don’t let it define your college experience.
  26. Much of the time you once had for pleasure reading is going to disappear. Keep a list of the books you would have read had you had the time, so that you can start reading them when you graduate.
  27. Things that seem like the end of the world really do become funny with a little time and distance. Knowing this, forget the embarassment and skip to the good part.
  28. Every once in awhile, there will come an especially powerful moment when you can actually feel that an experience has changed who you are. Embrace these, even if they are painful.
  29. No matter what your political or religious beliefs, be open-minded. You’re going to be challenged over the next four years in ways you can’t imagine, across all fronts. You can’t learn if you’re closed off.
  30. If you need to get a job, find something that you actually enjoy. Just because it’s work doesn’t mean it has to suck.
  31. Don’t always lead. It’s good to follow sometimes.
  32. Take a lot of pictures. One of my major regrets in life is that I didn’t take more pictures in college. My excuse was the cost of film and processing. Digital cameras are cheap and you have plenty of hard drive space, so you have no excuse.
  33. Your health and safety are more important than anything.
  34. Ask for help. Often.
  35. Half of you will be in the bottom half of your class at any given moment. Way more than half of you will be in the bottom half of your class at some point in the next four years. Get used to it.
  36. In ten years very few of you will look as good as you do right now, so secretly revel in how hot you are before it’s too late.
  37. In the long run, where you go to college doesn’t matter as much as what you do with the opportunities you’re given there. The MIT name on your resume won’t mean much if that’s the only thing on your resume. As a student here, you will have access to a variety of unique opportunities that no one else will ever have – don’t waste them.
  38. On the flip side, don’t try to do everything. Balance = well-being.
  39. Make perspective a priority. If you’re too close to something to have good perspective, rely on your friends to help you.
  40. Eat badly sometimes. It’s the last time in your life when you can do this without feeling guilty about it.
  41. Make a complete ass of yourself at least once, preferably more. It builds character.
  42. Wash your sheets more than once a year. Trust me on this one.
  43. If you are in a relationship and none of your friends want to hang out with you and your significant other, pay attention. They usually know better than you do.
  44. Don’t be afraid of the weird pizza topping combinations that your new friend from across the country loves. Some of the truly awful ones actually taste pretty good. Expand your horizons.
  45. Explore the campus thoroughly. Don’t get caught.
  46. Life is too short to stick with a course of study that you’re no longer excited about. Switch, even if it complicates things.
  47. Tattoos are permanent. Be very certain.
  48. Don’t make fun of prefrosh. That was you like 2 hours ago.
  49. Enjoy every second of the next four years. It is impossible to describe how quickly they pass.
  50. This is the only time in your lives when your only real responsibility is to learn. Try to remember how lucky you are every day.

Be yourself. Create. Inspire, and be inspired. Grow. Laugh. Learn. Love.

Welcome to some of the best years of your lives.

-B

very inspiring.
never bold so many lines before in a single post….