Walk With Giants

(random title again)

Last week of class!

Today i finally recharged my ipod
listening “700 nian hou” at the infinite corridor
is sth so out of place, out of time

recently my dreams are really haunting/weird/scary
i hv no clue whts the sources of these dreams from
i believe if i hv some more normal dreams
i would wake up easier…i mean i will be less fettered by jao-gung

im either being追殺 that i have to hide / run for my life
or is sth super real in life but with many incomprehensible details

fracture

Do you dare stay out?
Do you dare go in?
How much can you lose?
How much can you win?
And if you go in, should you turn left or right?
Or right and there-quarters?
Or maybe not quite?
You can get so confused…that you’ll start in to race…
down long wiggled roads at a break-necking pace…
and grind on for miles across weirdish wild space…
headed i fear towards a most useless place…the waiting place.
For people just waiting.
Waiting for a train to go, or for a bus to come, or a plane to go
, or the mail to come, or the rain to go, or the phone to ring
, or the snow to snow, or waiting around for a yes or a no
, or a string of pearls, or a pair of pants, or a wig with curls
, or another chance

Waiting for the fish to bite
or waiting for wind to fly a kite
or waiting around for Friday night
or waiting, perhaps, for uncle Jake
or a pot to boil, or a Better Break
or a string of pearls, or a pair of pants
or a wig of curls, or Another Chance.
Everyone is just waiting.

Theodor Seuss Geisel
你敢後退嗎　你敢向前嗎 你輸得起多少　你贏得了多少 假如你前進了　應該向左還是向右 還是往右偏四分之三　或也許不用這麼多 你頭腦只有一片困惑 跳上一條彎彎的小路　使勁地跑 以為堅定無疑地跑了很遠 沿路景物古怪又可笑 我怕你會一頭栽進一個最無聊的地方 一個叫做等待的地方 在那裡人們沒完沒了的等 等著火車駛去　等著公車開來 等著飛機起飛　等著郵件寄到 等著雨停　等著電話響 等著雪花紛飛　等著一個答案 等著一串珠寶或一條褲子 或等著一頭波浪般的捲髮 或等著下一個機會飛黃騰達

i got a double

becoz of our low rank , we got a double room.
even my future roomate wants a single room so much, we have to stay together.

stupid ranking system.

as a sophomore,
i cant afford getting irritated again by roomate’s noises
i hate people looking at me when im trying to concentrate 100% for studying
i hate someone’s walking around when im doing my problem set
i hate people intruding to my privacy
i hate people knowing what i am doing 24 hours a day and judge me
i hate looking at people studying when im taking a rest
i HATE someone who can suddenly open the door and come in without knocking

anyway,

suen so.

im so going to move out next spring.

i believe, i ABSOLUTELY believe,
i could study much much much much much better when im alone

im energetic when im alone

i dun have to care who else is in my room suddenly

i hate i hate i hate i hate sharing my private place with others

i have enough pressure outside my room already

why i have to be bothered too when im in my own room?

少年よ大志を抱け！

no matter its mine or others, sudden-ambitious behaviors make me feel giddy.
neither im excited nor disgusted by these acts, just that i feel strange about it …

hmmm
man, i always feel that im repeating myself.
now i have to start my sentence with “duno whether i’ve mentioned this before”
just that im always running out of topic
and hv to dig into the same database and find the same interesting thing to talk about??