impromptuz

給你：

恭喜你 這樣 無中生有地 莫名奇妙地 成為了我生命的推動力。你不認識我，我不認識你，但冥冥中 你無辜地被我選中了。如此病態的追求，是有跡可尋的。但往往這種虛幻的超現實傾向，卻來得實在充實。二十歲的我，還可以這樣對陌生人投入，實在不可理喻。但同時，這種畸形的跟蹤狂僻好，我太能理解了。

只要我不傷害到任何人，請容許我在我的小宇宙裡盡情放肆。我需要這種假想的精神寄託去填補我現實的殘缺。只要我不影響到任何事，請容許我沉溺。反正這種無名的依戀從不認真，從不長久。你是誰已經不重要了， 能重疊在同一時空朝夕相對，縱未能留下半點痕跡，已經可以了。我已經無計可思了，是安份守己的時候了，在畸想減退前，祝你幸福。看著你的背影，我得到力量。

二十歲的我，還是會暗裡希望 日劇的情節會發生在我身上而已，無稽非常。因為我是白癡，我太能理解了。更有可能是，我生活需要題材而已。破曉前四時三十九分的自修室，牙刷都帶來了，靜待著微光綻放的晨曦。討厭這裡鬱悶的氣息，但在整個麻省理工，就只有這裡可以專心讀書。只有這一處，也感謝我還有這一處。

耳機傳來的”Stranger in Moscow”，份外夢幻。

我上

蠅眼中，世界是分裂的，異化的。

________________________

Fig 1. my 形散神不散 written in 2-year LPC time.

• Rather calling it a blogging feature, writing in point-form (again) actually implies that I have forever lost the ability to write cohesive long paragraphs (See Fig. 1) , sorry lilaoshi :(

• 1.5 months left and if I don’t wud gay, especially in 14.02 and 1.00, I will stop eating McWings in Hong Kong

• …or if they ever finally found the magnetic monopoles.

• I really enjoy walking myself back home at sunset .. Vassar street is my k-room and I will sing so loudly as if there is no one else in the world

• speaking about singing, I just realized I’ve been so active in singing ever since I came to MIT. Singing is never my strength..but I guess a lil part in me actually enjoy performing shamelessly , yes I am indeed an insatiable narcissist, and am proud of it. haha

• 6am, daybreak, eason’s songs in iTunes, bejeweled, no distraction, absolute silence, reckless abandon, what could be better?!

• In these special days of the month, I will become even more critical/cynical/choleric/extreme/conservative/evil/juding/dangerous ..sometimes I wonder whether this is my true self or not. is it a kind of time-dependent dissociative identity disorder!? (誤)

• Christmas will be the very first holiday after high school that I don’t have an internship!!! things to do: meeeeet beenthai and friends, meeeet grandpa, readdddd books, study algebra,  watch drama as if there was no tomorrow =D ….I’ve never been homesick until recently. when things went too wrong and out of control, home is always my frontline resort.

• MSNing with people like Kala chung , vicky lam, xg, jenny liu etc makes me smile during class

• Not counting myself there is +129.71% increase of visit (FYI, around 70 hits per day)…that’s creeeeeepy becoz I never know who the hell is reading my BS XDD Anyway, thank you so much for bearing with me, sharing my bits and pieces, and visiting this fai blog!!!

• If you know me well, if I don’t blog I die, and If I die I can’t blog, so I blog when I ‘m still alive.  “equals Capital D.”- big bang theory

I will not surrender.
告訴你吧，世界
10:28am, Nov 20,2007.
因為我仍對未來有所期盼.

enough BS.
除了文字可一再刺激我停滯了的思緒，
3:16am, Nov 10, 2009.
我還能做什麼?

我喜歡出發 喜歡離開
我喜歡停留 我喜歡長久
－《我》

《山寨版－我》

我喜歡未接來電 喜歡未讀電郵
我喜歡日出而息  喜歡日入而作
我喜歡熬夜清晨  喜歡午睡黃昏
我喜歡天天洗澡  喜歡夜夜聽歌
我喜歡爸爸媽媽  喜歡哥哥朋友
我喜歡熱熱鬧鬧  喜歡靜靜獨處
我喜歡麻省理工  喜歡沙田大圍
我喜歡考試時限  喜歡功課挑戰
我喜歡寶石方塊  喜歡工程力學
我喜歡日本文化  喜歡中國美食
我喜歡萬無目的  我喜歡隨心隨意