Arbitrary Realm of Knowledge

3 points:

  1. 估下撞到邊個? 每逢禮拜三路線! 就三秒鐘,就是我三天的快樂糧食。沒有舉頭,慢一秒,就發現不到。

  1. Sense of alienation is killing. Too skeptical. Self-esteem is zero. Mental self-defense is infinite. Allergic to all the ‘others’ outside my intimate Circle of Trust. Data overflow in my mind. People, stop looking at me like that. Stop talking to me like that. Stop treating me like that. I would rather you leave me alone. No, I don’t want to tell you. No, I don’t want to know. Taking everything too seriously. But at least I feel closer to reality. At least it means that my friends and family have been too kind to me all along. This dark internalized fear of dealing with interpersonal activities is consolidating.
  2. 上五樓的快活很耐聽,《心的距離》讓我連想到陳奕迅另一首unplugged國語歌《狂人日記》。《狂人日記》比較收斂冷靜,然後慢慢升溫,層層遞進,有點長嘯問蒼天的激動。個人最喜歡陳演繹這句歌詞-很不羈 “我没有想过改变荒芜了的沙漠  我最疯狂的错 只是幻想童话的王国” 。《心的距離》一開始徘徊於灰淡的憂鬱情感,副歌開始越來越緊湊,然後突然震撼地爆發,特別是eason超具爆炸性的‘連環嘶吼’,歇斯底里地點出整首歌再深一層的情緒,推向高潮。而最愛的歌詞是“衡量你的心直線到我之間  沒有跨越的機會 ”,副畫面感,充分感受到這句詞所藴含的“乏力” 和 “不甘”,感染力十足。 (天音:so IB !!)

About

You can tell that she was nervous. she really was.

She was looking around unnaturally,
jiggling her dorm key,
biting her nails,
playing with her earlobe with the other hand.

still not sure what to do.
she unzipped her handbag, for nothing.
inside it contains the usual stuffs- wallet, mobile, ipod or maybe a DC.
she reached inside and pretended to look for something.

Well, not like anyone would notice her at all anyways.

good, mobile phone, great thing to keep my hands busy, she thought.
Hoping no one would notice that she actually already has a watch on her arm,
she grabbed it and checked the time.
she changed the phone from Normal Mode to Silent Mode. then Silent Mode to Vibrate Mode.
then Vibrate Mode to Normal Mode.
Put it back. Zipped the bag.
Running out of stuffs to play with, she felt as embarrassed as being naked. Sick.

Elevators.
Mixers.
Arriving early.
Waiting for someone who’s late.
Waiting to be called.

now you know why she always got her 4.7-pound macbook in her bag.
it’s her ultimate shell from awkwardness by making herself awkward. haha.

與查理斯河進餐

我後悔   在雪地上留下紛雜凌亂的足印
迴彎  轉角  回頭  打旋
我猶疑   踩出了條條沒終點的分枝小徑
冰點  凝結  體溫  融化
我惋惜   手心握不住那稍蹤即逝的邂逅

R.I.P. JD Salinger.
How he managed to exclude himself as an outsider for half-a-century after his peak of success.
How the killer of John Lennon grasped this book in his hand.
Long Live Holden Caulfield. You are immortal.

One of the Phonies Mourn JD Salinger

To me, JD Salinger’s life/work would be the closest thing to religion.
It’s something out of scope to understand or to follow, but it is an unexplainable, enigmatic inspiration.

It’s funny how I sort of ‘saw’ this book thrice in less than a month, I mean this month Jan 2010, no kidding. First time, it’s the favorite book of the protagonist in the movie played on the plane. Second time, the woman sat next to me on the airbus was reading the red-cover Catcher in the rye. Third time,  the day he died and before knowing he’s dead, I spotted this book in my friend’s bookshelf and we even talked about it and all. Boy ,was it scary. It’s sort of depressing , though, when you really think about it.

  • 媽媽,他是《麥田捕手》的作者。
  • In his 91-year-old life, there are only a few rare photos of him officially published.
  • Only one long novel is published in his life.
  • Though controversial, it is a required reading for every Eng dept in US high schools.
  • He has lived in complete seclusion and silence for half a century–to protect himself and his privacy from the entire world.
  • Even death, to protect his privacy, there will be no service or funeral wtsoever.
  • He had not received interview since 1980. His few rare interviews are — one with a local high school newspaper in 1953, one with the Times to express his anger on unauthorized publishing of his work, by phone in 1974.
  • He has 15 unpublished manuscripts in his safe. He considered publishing as a “terrible invasion” of his privacy.
  • And has its own labeling system, red– publish after his death, blue — with some editing.
  • His book is lethal /brainwashing— several assassination attempts are associated with this ‘bible’ in the murder’s pockets or hotel room, which they connect themselves with Caulfield’s feeling of alienation.
  • His love life was captivating. Joyce Maynard got a letter from Salinger (when he was 53 years old) at the age of 18 after publishing a story on the New York Sunday Magazine. They then lived together for 8 months after exchanging 25 letters. Then Salinger asked her to leave.
  • Joyce M. then wrote a memoir on their relationship after keeping secret for N years.
  • Joyce M.later  even sold the letters through Sotheby’s auction house! =O= but good that the winner decided to return the letters to JDS.
  • What’s interesting is that, Salinger has actually sent almost-identical letters to several young female writers and started relationship with, including his wife, his nurse, etc.
  • Such a legendary man.

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For quotes of Mr. Salinger, go search “salinger” or “rye” in this blog or even my xanga. Or some random ones below:

  • “It was that kind of a crazy afternoon, terrifically cold, and no sun out or anything, and you felt like you were disappearing every time you crossed a road”
  • “Boy, when you’re dead, they really fix you up. I hope to hell when I do die somebody has sense enough to just dump me in the river or something. Anything except sticking me in a goddam cemetery. People coming and putting a bunch of flowers on your stomach on Sunday, and all that crap. Who wants flowers when you’re dead? Nobody.”
  • “Don’t ever tell anybody anything.”
  • “I’m sick of just liking people. I wish to God I could meet somebody I could respect.”
  • “It’s funny. All you have to do is say something nobody understands and they’ll do practically anything you want them to.”
  • “That’s the whole trouble. You can’t ever find a place that’s nice and peaceful, because there isn’t any. You may think there is, but once you get there, when you’re not looking, somebody’ll sneak up and write “F*** you” right under your nose.”