Too prone to tears

my mood swings are even more frequent and painful back in MIT days.
seems my tears are always ready no matter what i am doing or where I am.
I have no clue what I am sad about. Just a tiniest trigger is enough to echo around my mind.
Only time can calm me down.
I will go through it,
I can go through it,
I must go through it.

Immediate solution: 9gag!!

The Impossible Dream

Currently Playing: Boutique in Heaven – Justin Timberlake

“I had been right I was still right I was always right. I had lived my life one way and I could just as well lived it another. I had done this and I hadn t done that. I hadn t done this thing and I had done another. And so? ” – Albert Camus, The Stranger

To realize a dream: persistence, courage, passion, skills and strategies.

The Impossible Dream

To dream the impossible dream,
to fight the unbeatable foe,
to bear with unbearable sorrow,
to run where the brave dare not go.

To right the unrightable wrong,
to love pure and chaste from afar,
to try when your arms are too weary,
to reach the unreachable star.

This is my quest,
to follow that star —
no matter how hopeless,
no matter how far.

To fight for the right
without question or pause,
that one man scorned and covered with scars
still strove with his last ounce of courage.
To reach the unreachable stars.

埋下理想 栽種幻想

翻一翻護照，這六年來竟然有七個「陸上許可」的日本印。我喜歡日本，因為我喜歡避世。在這個與我無關的自由國度，我可以暫時卸下重擔和鬆開枷鎖，唯一以好奇心去探索每一天，珍惜每一秒。Take a break for real!

畢業後生活難免鬱悶。時間軸拉長，前進的節拍也拖慢了。向前看，timeline segmentation 只有讀surveying，三年後rotation完畢，然後下一個foreseeable的已經是結婚，有一天出書。That’s it.

走到浅草寺的籤筒面前，合上眼問自己，我對未來到底有什麼寄望？腦裡一片空白。日復一日地生活，一直依賴著Steve Jobs 的一句 “connect the dots” carry on，那我的purpose of life 是什麼？Source of passion 是什麼？以前初中迷上web design，不停參加比賽，當時確確實實每天都被渴望推動著，以努力來止渴。現在呢？面對種種前所未有的variables in life，在這隨時斷開的橋樑上步步為營地見步行步，一直告訴自己，穩定下來後就可以re-focus重新出發。可是，我怕我已經習慣了這種mentality，以此為藉口去逃避現實。

Anyways…

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夢の旅 – Farmer Cheung

First and foremost, 恭喜我的b升職加薪(⌒▽⌒) 努力和實力再一次被認可，I am soo happy for u :3 整天都在等b的消息。sms的內容是：”have new business card for you mascara. ” hahaha 話說her的卡片永遠有條黑邊，因為我塗mascara時都借用他的卡片上色 :P

(sorry for not putting in any words in my previous posts. Round the clock I got no time to sit quietly and type my blog..currently on the bus ride from Kofu to Shinjuku)

7:20am !! 當我在床上打這blog時，碌架床搖了兩秒，地上的luggages也搖到有聲。Then I thought..well no one is up there? After confirming with Hay1ey, 原來是magnitude 3.5 earthquake in Tokyo!! First time in my life wah!!
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四天的日本山梨農園の旅完了。還有兩天在東京。

The Students…

– LPC 的絆是不分年紀的。我是他們的5th year – 17到19歲的中學生 vs. 23歲的在職人士。但surprisingly完全沒有generation gap。每天都有很多common topic 吹水，一起chor大D，一起無聊大笑唱歌遊戲，一瞬間就變回了LPC的活力學生mode了！好開心呀，衷心希望他們每一個都會快樂成功。
– “You lack the UWC values!”, “This is anti-social behavior!” 。Hay1ey一聲喝止，大家都低頭內疚。我也差點忘掉了的UWC values…
– “Back in F!0ni’s time..” 原來學校也增添了不少rules…and 令人咋舌的legends 還是不絕的。For example for graduation dinner, 一名女生一踏進酒店的ballroom就把衣服全脫光，因為全身畫上body paint!

The Farm…
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– 不可能三年兩語去summarize這4天的farming experience。
– 在宏偉的富士山下和陽光的照射下，穿上勞工手套和長靴 9am to 4:30pm peach tree pruning (removing selective parts on the stems to ensure size and quality of peaches), 我以後也不會忘記桃樹的外貌特徵；我以後也會記住，就算是去零下幾度的地方，也要帶足夠的sunscreen。皆因我已經變了一舊黑炭。(可悲是眼鏡部分還是白lud lud 的 orz)
– 園主教懂了我們很多agricultural techniques！ 園主說，when you do something, don’t do it blindly. Always know why you are doing it, the purpose of doing it.
– 原來他的家族generations by generations 已經擁有這4公頃田地。身為大學講師的他決定繼承農業business。呀其實我爺爺也是農夫，親身體驗農夫的「日出而作，日入而息」也不錯，不錯。I am Farmer Cheung too!
– 一同做義工的日本人 (English education major, we learnt a lot of LPC-only English from us XD 和法國人(learnt a few more lines and French accent, je suis belle, tu es beau!!) 也跟我們成為了好朋友，別離一天大家都依依不捨。每天都有搞笑的quote of the day 和 鬥講駄洒落(pun)，super funny XD
– 第一次會以farmer’s perspective 去聽「葡萄成熟時」XDD 其實d歌詞好match架。因為現在是off season，的確要等果實成熟。一邊聽歌一邊開工，各位香港同學都一起爆笑 haha
~ 當初的堅持　現已令你很懷疑　很懷疑
你最尾等到　只有這枯枝
~ 你要靜候　再靜候　就算失收　始終要守
~日後 儘量別教今天的淚白流 留低 擊傷你的石頭 從錯誤裡吸收 也許 豐收 月份尚未到你也得接受
~ 別讓 寂寞害你傷得一夜白頭 誰都心酸過 那個沒有

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Anecdotes…
– Yen is so cheap! Went to Shibuya 渋谷109 crazy shopping , it’s great spending my salary to reward myself :)
– When we were about to head back, I realized that one of my shopping bags was gone !!! (with a ~8,000 yen jacket for work in it @@) Super panic, after a long search, I declared ‘certified’ and could only comfort myself that..well then treat it as the price of the free airfee la T.T .. Luckily I finally spotted it at a counter in another shop in the last second !!! Phewwwww
– Was chatting with my Guatemala classmate and he was sharing a book he recently read called ‘Influence’ by Caildini. 問問下先發覺d theory and examples sound so familiar .. 原來係我本 Sloan Managerial Psychology textbook @0@. 我竟然已經唔記得左 hahaha ^^”
– am about to visit a shrine. For the first time I have no idea what I would 求籤 for. Is it a good thing? Am I just content with everything? Or I don’t have any strong will in life already?

(To be continued…)