Category: I BS

recently watched movies:

(i never expect i will like this movie)

its 2:06am and im in this group study room at student center

bad news : 50% of my socks are lost. as in, 全部得一隻。。

anyway, i think i should stop the excess use of “anyway”……

anyway..i think...after getting this UROP
now i really seriously have to take things seriously  (see, double serious)
becoz its absolutely fine to upset myself or disappoint myself (maybe not)
but im at no position to upset my research lo barn , especially he chose me out of all the candidates (?)
so, in order to give good work in the research, i mean
i needa hv good balanced life too, if i screwed my schoolwork, i cant do the research well too
its really about responsibility,
its not mickey mouse game that i can pretend sick/headache/stomache to escape work
let’s prove to everyone that i am capable, legitimately capable

so seriously, its time to pull myself together seriously. (i got this 覺悟 everytime i screw sth up..=0=)

and btw
, i found that for good work, the one i wanna tell most is my dad. becoz i can feel he is really proud about it
then bad  stuffs i will tell my mum. becoz she will comfort me and makes me feel better, and lemme know that im not alone. ^3^
then for academic stuffs or real problems need to be solved, i will ‘consult’/farn my bro for professional advice
and i got this blog to share every single detail of my life!  this 4 important roles are like the 4 legs of a table. (?)

boston’s weather fluctuates as much as my mood
2 days ago it was still warm and sunny, a soothing 12oC

and today it suddenly snows again with no sign..
and my dear professors finally did not reply my email for the weekend (cry)
anyway i still sent them one more to show how eager i am..
but hey, indeed i really wanna do this research ma……>o<
gum its really ying ma the project scope >o<
hope its not taken by other people yet…. ai suen la
slim chance…aaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

back from chester’s 3-hour-long office hour
god its so crowded soh dic..=_=
anyway gotta rest for an hour or so now and see wht to do next
and chester said its gonna be super difficult ……..Orz

__
whenever i listened to 狂人日記 i will feel pretty 沈重….

another week started again, with a snowstorm.

if i can get an A for 8oh2, then i can do anything, no kidding.
so i told myself to at least read the notes for physics
ended up watching 係咪小兒科 ….”””
sometimes when you are so reluctant to do something
u can generate some many excuses and alternatives out instantly haha
whenever i flipped open my course note…i will become 氣虛昏厥~~
or like induction, all my negative charge will move to one side…(ng ji up mud…)

_____

“because life is finite, life is meaningful.
Maybe the meaning of life is something I am doing right now, as simple as breathing,
without the faintest awareness of it.
Perhaps the meainig of life is not some goal to be pursued, but something which is
articulated in the act of living itself.
The meaning of a narrative, after all, is not just the end of it, but the process of narration itself.”

my calculus notebook

my week, not very crazy

u know, im those kind of people
who needs 3 whole days of reckless abandon , after 3-day of mid-terms…
難聽一點說 i.e. 一暴十寒 (yau gei larn teng le…)
ai SBL (suen ba la), maybe I worked best  under pressure,
so procrastination is actually sth good to me?
but does it mean I can really ignore the phy pset on mon and phy exam on wed entirely?

ok la, now i will cook a noodle, and wait for the 4:00pm class

after 3 days, I think my MOST GING strength is
to hea away time without any guilt, to put problems away as if they dont exist
and do repeatedly go to wordpress-facebook-webmail-yahoo for N hours in a day

just that, as a front desk worker, I can never say “have a nice day” very sincerely
as in Chinese it is like “我希望你會有美好的一天！“how awkward is that to say to a stranger…
in the beginning of the job apparently I have no sense of these american-style front-desk etiquette
man, you know it takes me so long to slur this “have a nice day”  out..haha
and someone said to me that “have a wonderful day!” to me, it sounds like disneyland advertisement

so other things are like
“hey how are you doing”
“good!! you?”
“good!”
this 3 seconds pointless conversation is just long enough to substitute the weird stare/smile.

anyway, I think my english is getting worse.
not just grammar, but my spoken english is so bad haahaha
if you ask me about my regrets in life , one of them would be I could never get rid my Hong Kong accent
well some people will politely pointed out that “hey, you have a slight british accent”
and some will just say “hey where are you from?” …..
well, I think before working on my accent..i better polish my phy/math/bio to the mit standard first…sigh

sigh
3 exams.
i dun wanna study.

sometimes i feel strange that
im just acting the life for myself…duno how to describe it
as language itself limits concepts ,
its like , my soul, is working for this body and this name
trying to fulflil this person personality
but actually, my inner self is not really myself.
u understand wht im saying/

and i always feel like im repeating myself in this blog
i got this feeling that i have actually typed/said the exactly same thing here before
( a deja vu blog-wise?)
maybe its because i tend to store a thread of thought in my mind for so long
and its kind of assimilated and become a part of me
so everything i typed here is so familiar
and i got the ability to say the exact same lines without realizing it,lol