又下大雪。 巧令令吖＊` >W< (haahha ok i short jor)
琴日明明仲風和日麗，陽光普照，令人精神抖擻…>__<
已經唔知連續幾多日冇心機做野
大難當前，都係訓覺優先
以咁樣嘅精神狀態／得過且過嘅心態，唔捱得幾耐。。
因為下星期又有midterms x 3 啦，已經冇得再原諒自己做得差嘅理由
嗚。。半個中之後又要見 UR0p supervisor … =—-+
then 7-9 physics hour…
then tmr phy p-set due…then tmr japanese lesson quiz…
拖得就拖 並唔係合適嘅處事方法阿~
呀。。好頭痛
2 statements:
“Compensate your lack of skill by doubling your effort”
“Failure is constant-confidence-draining”
my favourite 插楽 in 鋼之鍊金術師 (..ah i really like this anime so much)
So finally my first round of 4-midterm-battle is over.
my motto now is be happy with marks thats above class average
(considering im competing with MIT students…well am I not one though? lol)
and treat getting As as a bonus/blessing/unusual achievement
and rmb my reachable aim is: getting A for japanese 1802 1803
and getting B for biology and physics
A word on physics. remember one of the happiest things to get into LPC is that
I can finally get rid of physics. hmm I never had a good physics teacher …
and kind of within expectation that I got Bs for all the quantitative subjects in HKCEE
so getting into MIT and pulling myself into all these physics-engineering-math again
at first I was unwilling and freaked out, but for the sake of the school as an technology institute,
plus I dun really wanna give up my identity as a science student (which in fact I quite enjoyed)
I chose to pave a not-easy path towards sth that might not (and proven) be my best talent nor top interest
(I love languages and writing and reading parody and culture and data analysis and stalking)
therefore many legendary examples within my friend circle, are somehow encouraging.
how ppl who used to suck at math and become a math major,
how a person F jor physics and major mechanical engineering,
how a failed-many-subjects medic student managed to be an outstanding doctor now
When I said I got 66 marks, my dad will usually say “so 70 is the full mark?”
and now he also adjusted to say “so can you get a B?” haha
I am really thankful on how my parents understand the transition I am going through now.
the most frequent encouragement I got after I come here is: “要有信心先得架麻”
and I really see how the lost of confidence in me has seriously hindered my mental health
i felt im endlessly running downhill ..
living by the stereotypes that asians/international students should be really wud gay
and you know, since primary 1 academic achievement was once something I am most proud of.
I am not smart but I (…occasionally) work my ass off ,
e.g. 18oh3 I got a B after I studied sooooooo much.
but actually I didnt feel sad, because I have really practiced so much
and the test has pushed me to clear concepts and I am happy that I’ve learnt from my mistakes.
the entry is getting too long, what I wanna say is
as time goes by, I gradually know how to cope with the hosed life in here
Don’t compare and give my best work. STOP SELF-PITYING.
and avoid @ deep-sh!t situation…
and after all, academic is no BIGGGG deal, happiness no.1 !
after finishing 18oh2 and 7oh14 psets yesterday
did sth i hvnt do for long—– pull an all-nighter to watch tv drama. allll the wayyyy.
K.0. season 3 prison break
then went straight to class after this
hmm things solved today — I9 form, u-rop credits confirmation (originally taking 54/57 unit..now 57/57! yay)
, filled in add form, asked about payroll, asked supervisor and advisor to find time send the form for me
This week im a bit lost. even though im physically at class i cant really concentrate
i think psets are very mo liu, and some are ridiculously unnecessarily hard
with the new research going on, after taking nap today (nah im so good at making reasons to postpone the things i hv to do immediately)
i reallly have to re-organize and re-schedule my school life…fail to plan, plan to fail le
ahhh gonna do 18oh3 pset today (i asked for an extension…another excuse to postpone my work = =)
hell lots of readings for the research project
singing practice…friend’s bday….masteringphysics..etc..etc…
____________
for 80h2 exam, this might be the very exam that i flunked most seriously..
really 心裡有数…suen la =__=””” 15%……..just a little exam in life
but the fact is, even u give me 150 days to study for the same thing,
it wont make me do very much better in it..@–@
got 66% with average 54% !!! ho yeahhhhhh
come on i only got CE Phy foundation..(haha i always blame on this = = )
but they say this subject is STRICTLY NOT CURVED..
if all exams and tests are like this
then only half of the class can pass coz F is <59 =_=”
looking at photos in facebook,
its funny to see how familiar faces used-to-be become 陌生…e.g. my form 5 classmates
looking at their faces i got a pretty strange feeling becoz, well firstly they’ve all changed
and when u hv not interacted with a person for sometime ..then really wui kei guai jor
(= = ? ng g jo mud again hahaa)
and how 陌生 faces become familiar faces
and how strangers faces reminded you of some used-to-be familiar faces
“Its written so well that I could not write it better!”
one-line comment on my u-r-o-p proposal by my supervisor XDD
for a long time i hvnt write science-related proposal le…the last time should be my chemistry EE =_=
dang i thought i disabled the search engine thing
but people keep coming in by searching
“m-i-t u-r-o-p”
“venus leung”
“koube leung”
“chishio”
etc…=__=
u know, it will seriously put myself at a very dangerous situation
is the disable thing fake??
its 4:58 am over here now
when i got really excited by something, i just cant fall into sleep at all.
this physical response shows how happy im to get the urop
(urop = undergrad research opportunities program)
and how ngao dai im at the same time because i duno wht’s gonna happen after accepting this “challenge”
am i capable? will i die becoz of extra 10 hours of workload? can i really take up the jobs?
see, asking all these stupid questions make me losing lots of sweet sleeping hours.
deah== and it makes me even more ngao dai because i hv to do my final study for physics tmr.
and its my 4th post on the same day. = =
impromptuz 