Category: I BS

下個學期決定不再做 front-desk

因為我要上體育課 ！+多做幾個research 更實際

xggg 面接頑張ってよ！！aza aza!!

實在感謝爸媽那時這麼支持我去LPC
they never heard of the school, even I havent heard about it much before
The tuition fee is crazy, and its a boarding school
(rmb I didnt dare to tell them this is a boarding school until I got accepted..haha)

what I do is, I keep telling them people graduating from there
they all got into Harvard Oxford Cambridge Yale

I wonder how many people they have asked to confirm how good the school is =p

but indeed, LPC is such a great school.
If i have to write a book (??= = again?), I would really wanna write about
wht’s the difference in me as a maryknoller and a LPCer

the challenge,
(rmb how I worried I will be KOed by all those geniuses around. the challenge just repeats itself.)
the people, the environment, the vision.

then i wanna write about US uni applications stuffs,
and the real situation as a US uni student.

im tired

i dont want to study

i have no motivation

i have hea 3 days already

i did nothing constructive but risk.

if witnessing my failure could make u a lil bit happier,

or gratify you,

or let you have a chance to tease at me, to judge me,

or could satisfy your own ego for no reason,

or justify yourself a lil bit more,

or think that you are much more hardworking than i am,

or finding a solid proof that i’m indeed useless,

or getting excited to find out im not as hardcore as ppl said,

or finding a new topic as a new rumor,

or badmouth me,

or couldnt wait to witness my doomsdays for effing up my finals,

or you are feeling sympathetic/pathetic about my inferior attitude,

or you have always looked at me with scorn,

or as president bush said, u think u are not misunderestimating me,

or glad that as Plato said my attitude will make me walk lame to the end of my life,

welcome to do so and here is the chance.

but if you are feeling the same as I do,

welcome to the club.

(and now you know why I hate being in a double room.
the above assumptions just pop up when I found out someone is here when im taking an afternoon nap.
and Im not lying that i have inferior complex. u won’t want to know to know the painful reason though.)

再記不起  被悄悄淡忘的生活情節，
就會變成永遠失落的回憶缾圖的一角

所以 每當遇上特別的經歷，她就會加強eidetic memory的力量，
好將每一個細節，每一字都記下來，
就像增強了功能的錄影機，
有更高的fps + video resolution + audio recording format ,
目的是要將片段融為文字。

所以，最近奇怪的事情發生了

無論是夜夢白日夢長夢短夢好夢噩夢，
下意識讓她連夢裡的事都全記住了
如真的如佛洛依德所說，
發夢目的是實現願望的話，
那她也總算明白為甚麼她常有deja vu 的錯覺，
有重複自己的感覺

更病態地自以為  真假交錯的回憶讓她
早已深刻地親歷過不同程度的恐懼及失望
錯亂的情節也統統烙在腦海裡了

突然想起了由羅賓威廉斯主演的電影 The Final Cut
故事背景定在近未來，人類發展出可以紀錄人一生的迴光晶片，
把每天生活的聲音和眼前的影像一秒不失的全紀錄下來
而羅賓威廉斯扮演的職業就是剪接晶片
，緝成總結死者的一生的影片
在葬禮給死者家屬、朋友作為回憶的紀念。

becoz of our low rank , we got a double room.
even my future roomate wants a single room so much, we have to stay together.

stupid ranking system.

as a sophomore,
i cant afford getting irritated again by roomate’s noises
i hate people looking at me when im trying to concentrate 100% for studying
i hate someone’s walking around when im doing my problem set
i hate people intruding to my privacy
i hate people knowing what i am doing 24 hours a day and judge me
i hate looking at people studying when im taking a rest
i HATE someone who can suddenly open the door and come in without knocking

anyway,

suen so.

im so going to move out next spring.

i believe, i ABSOLUTELY believe,
i could study much much much much much better when im alone

im energetic when im alone

i dun have to care who else is in my room suddenly

i hate i hate i hate i hate sharing my private place with others

i have enough pressure outside my room already

why i have to be bothered too when im in my own room?

おはようーまあ~ 係度諗，為左完成我小時候出書嘅夢想
（天音: 幾時又多左個夢想）
或者我應該襯主呢個部落格就黎一周年
寫耶開始有番個主旨／中心思想／有個譜 ?

for example:
1)申報大學心得 (一定有好多心得 lark)
2) 留學心路歷程 （嘔）
3)懶人也可以成功 （炒晒d midterm 又叫成功 lark)
4)懶人食譜 （雖然十年時間去研發先出到書。。咁嘅進度）
5)不懂加減數的工程師（唔知可以寫咩喎）
6) mo lu XDDD

therefore, ngo dou hai random write suen so XDD

found a quite meaningful lyrics from jay chou’s song:
我說自尊啊 看起來惹笑 但它至少 撐著我
試著不讓我跌倒 活著 如果只是不甘寂靜的喧囂
那就咆哮吧 讓每個人都聽得到

我跟你用不同方式 踩過前方帶刺荊棘
你囂張不畏懼退縮 我低頭沉默卻堅定
用力的還擊 發出聲音 讓他們安靜 不敢相信
繼續前進 他們畏懼 睜大眼睛 他們躲避

我就算逆境環繞 我面對也要帶著笑
我只有一種咆哮 我要讓他們都知道
我生命再怎麼粗糙 我都要活的很驕傲
然後放棄 專心聆聽 我的聲音

只能撲向泥濘迎向那陣驟雨由不得你

突來的驟雨 這條街一路泥濘 就像人生 不過是一場即興
整個世界 正在對我們挑釁 就算如此 還是得無懼前進