Tonight, I decided not to do anything. (just like any other late nights.)

I think the only problem is– I should stop welcoming my own lame excuses

any kind that will stop my progress.

I think I should stay in the student center except for sleeping

one is for the air-conditioning, second is, the environment would really push me

dang, instead of going back to work, i dont mind taking summer classes

another thing is, i dont really like people asking how my MIT life is: as in, to me,
they r trying to find out whether I am folded, doomed, antisocial or what
sample question: so what do you do in weekends? who do you hang out with?
how’s classes? do you have anything to do except studying? how well are you doin.
my interpretation: what im doing now is JUST exactly enough to deal with these
kind of questions. honestly, non-academic stuffs are really just to tell myself and tell
others im not a nerd , well

Last thingI wanna say today is,
I dont like random strangers bumping into my blog ,
or people that i totally have no relationship with
as mentioned in my previous entry, how i shape myself in front of people
is a totally contradiction with my honest self- presentation in this blog
sometimes, i dont want random people knowing me in deep-shit.
keep the good image is good enough. too much info is no good.
anyway…if you are reading this blog, it is still kind of 緣份, so, ok la

im worried
i dun want summer to come, i wont e able to make any positive contribution
i duno what to do if im paid to do something
that i have 95% probability to screw up
and its for 3 months, i will be defeated every day ….=((((((
feeling sad and inferior for my whole summer…every week…
i will keep letting people’s down, making myself and others disappointed
but they are bounded to keep me becoz is 3 months long….and i have to do it too
and ppl will be very harsh and demanding..
they will scold me and hurt my dignity….
but im just a piece of rubbish going there….
the things i hate most is appearing being foolish….
but now im in a situation that i cant avoid being very foolish and a bak chi…
i dun nothing about these……..
wuwuwuuuuuuuuuuuuwuwuwuuwuu

but this is namely challenge.
doing something out of your ability but within your potential.
damn but isnt 3 months just too long, its like 25% of a year!!!!

im truly very worried.
but i guess they wont have high expectations on me neither =_=