A proactive person uses proactive language–I can, I will, I prefer, etc. A reactive person uses reactive language–I can’t, I have to, if only. Reactive people believe they are not responsible for what they say and do–they have no choice.

Someone was asking me to do her a favor earlier and I promised that I would try my best to help. Anyway, something went wrong and I could not possibly offer my help anymore. She was bombarding my whatsapp for 6 hours continuously which made me still felt mentally obliged to keep my promise, so I can’t say ‘hey, shut the f up la..’ and she didn’t get it no matter how I indirectly phrased my rejection in different ways (or just pretended that she didn’t get it)

Blinded by ‘I said I will try my best to keep my promise’, I forgot the art of saying ‘No’.
In all possible outcomes, the expected payoff is either zero or drastic negative for me. For her is either zero or positive. In a rational perspective, finally I rejected her la end of story.