always feel like I am in a dream.
never hv this concrete feeling that
I am ACTUALLY present @ the “present” of @ USA/MIT/Cambridge/MA
im always lost in contemplation..
or simply blank out by emptiness in mind
or hving random thoughts threading up randomly…
or when i closed my eyes, psets, numbers, problems just spontaneously appear..
or the more serious case, when i hv my iPod earphone on, i just cant figure out why the hell im here.
hving Eason Chan’s, Bump of Chicken’s songs looping at my ear, mentally im 0% present in the US.
perhaps songs hv become my Madeleine*
(*Western cultural symbol of involuntary memory which stimulates an intense emotional response,
learnt in 21F.076 class today XD)
I can’t imagine how i can 渾噩 for 4 more years in here with such an attitude
that nothing seems to be real, but in fact everything is even more real than real.
I go to class, I come back from class, I do homework, I play, I talk, I eat, I sleep.
when life become insipid and mechanical, don’t you know i’m so tired of it all.
(naa i know it’s damn lame to wrap up a blog entry with my blog title again, and again @_@)
impromptuz 