今天零消費 美食包括:
1. 鮮蝦海撒沙律 +蛋糕
2. 札幌蒜香照燒雞湯麵 (其實只不過係出前一丁, 個名勁fancy XD)
3. 公仔點心珍珠雞 x 3
im feeling this gap always, every second in here.
no matter in background and culture, intelligence and diligence, personality and behavior.
i belong to nowhere.
in LPC i still got my small curtained corner..but here, im always exposed to people, i.e. always unintentionally exposing myself to comparision. well, not really comparision, coz the difference is too obvious. i need some privacy to deal with my own weaknesses, i need some solitude time to brush up my rusted hand and mind. i need some time to go back on track again.
i dont want to be alone but in many cases my existence among others in here is very saddening …
i can’t do the homework, i don’t want to ask, i want to try by myself for the first time
i dun want to go copy model answers or memorize marking schemes again
this is not the right way to work ……….
but when i started to do things in the proper way, i just can’t do it.
nerds, stop telling me how you “enjoy” or “relaxing” the problem sets
how “easy” that you are surprised, how quickly you finished them.
the fact is , the hard fact that im accepting slowly, i hv to work much harder to catch up with the geeks here.
say I have 5 HW now i duno which to start. becoz no matter which set i dont know how to start.
i won’t say I’m worried, but rather a 事實認知階段
i’m not lazy, i dun hv the slightest intention to slack/ procrastinate/ to be lazy.
i know time is not enough, my foundation is not enough.
there is no uncertainty. this self-engulfing fact is very clear now.
impromptuz 