impromptuz

下個學期決定不再做 front-desk

因為我要上體育課 ！+多做幾個research 更實際

xggg 面接頑張ってよ！！aza aza!!

實在感謝爸媽那時這麼支持我去LPC
they never heard of the school, even I havent heard about it much before
The tuition fee is crazy, and its a boarding school
(rmb I didnt dare to tell them this is a boarding school until I got accepted..haha)

what I do is, I keep telling them people graduating from there
they all got into Harvard Oxford Cambridge Yale

I wonder how many people they have asked to confirm how good the school is =p

but indeed, LPC is such a great school.
If i have to write a book (??= = again?), I would really wanna write about
wht’s the difference in me as a maryknoller and a LPCer

the challenge,
(rmb how I worried I will be KOed by all those geniuses around. the challenge just repeats itself.)
the people, the environment, the vision.

then i wanna write about US uni applications stuffs,
and the real situation as a US uni student.

im tired

i dont want to study

i have no motivation

i have hea 3 days already

i did nothing constructive but risk.

if witnessing my failure could make u a lil bit happier,

or gratify you,

or let you have a chance to tease at me, to judge me,

or could satisfy your own ego for no reason,

or justify yourself a lil bit more,

or think that you are much more hardworking than i am,

or finding a solid proof that i’m indeed useless,

or getting excited to find out im not as hardcore as ppl said,

or finding a new topic as a new rumor,

or badmouth me,

or couldnt wait to witness my doomsdays for effing up my finals,

or you are feeling sympathetic/pathetic about my inferior attitude,

or you have always looked at me with scorn,

or as president bush said, u think u are not misunderestimating me,

or glad that as Plato said my attitude will make me walk lame to the end of my life,

welcome to do so and here is the chance.

but if you are feeling the same as I do,

welcome to the club.

(and now you know why I hate being in a double room.
the above assumptions just pop up when I found out someone is here when im taking an afternoon nap.
and Im not lying that i have inferior complex. u won’t want to know to know the painful reason though.)

再記不起  被悄悄淡忘的生活情節，
就會變成永遠失落的回憶缾圖的一角

所以 每當遇上特別的經歷，她就會加強eidetic memory的力量，
好將每一個細節，每一字都記下來，
就像增強了功能的錄影機，
有更高的fps + video resolution + audio recording format ,
目的是要將片段融為文字。

所以，最近奇怪的事情發生了

無論是夜夢白日夢長夢短夢好夢噩夢，
下意識讓她連夢裡的事都全記住了
如真的如佛洛依德所說，
發夢目的是實現願望的話，
那她也總算明白為甚麼她常有deja vu 的錯覺，
有重複自己的感覺

更病態地自以為  真假交錯的回憶讓她
早已深刻地親歷過不同程度的恐懼及失望
錯亂的情節也統統烙在腦海裡了

突然想起了由羅賓威廉斯主演的電影 The Final Cut
故事背景定在近未來，人類發展出可以紀錄人一生的迴光晶片，
把每天生活的聲音和眼前的影像一秒不失的全紀錄下來
而羅賓威廉斯扮演的職業就是剪接晶片
，緝成總結死者的一生的影片
在葬禮給死者家屬、朋友作為回憶的紀念。