Author: impromptuz

“We’re born, we live for a brief instant, and we die. It’s been happening for a long time.”

無論是誰離世，都會感觸得徹夜難眠。五月寮長過身，看完Einstein展覽，都會inspire我去evaluate一下我的life direction，到底需不需要調整。我是務實性，過非常standardized的人生我不介意，但當看到世界上這些making a significant impact to the world 的偉人時，我會否浪費了這唯一一次可活在世上的機會？如果assume沒有輪迴，人生就只有一千零一次，沒有take two，而且隨時玩完，沒有人知道自己的life span有多長。要不是能力有限，那為甚麼要如此屈服於conformity？點解唔襯後生把bucket list 儘量完成？It’s never too early, it’s never too late.

故事的開端，我人生的楔子，本來意向是甚麼？
故事的結尾，我人生的後記obituary，又會為世界留下甚麼legacy？
生有限，活無限。

我的人生追求是甚麼？我最擅長甚麼？我可以貢獻甚麼？我最感passionate的範圍是甚麼？如果以上問題可以畫出一個venn diagram，有沒有intersection area？我甘不甘心只是做社會上的一顆小齒輪？or could I be something more? Do I have the courage to follow my heart and intuition?

人越大，就越多constraints與framing限制，也忘記了小時候的理想。小時候我想做作家，偷偷投稿，參加公共圖書館的寫作比賽，一一落空。小學讀叮噹，就想當發明家，想做一部ICQ機（i.e. SMS nowadays)，想做一個電子琴譜機。也想過做網頁設計師，form 1的時候還為個人網頁買下了f1on1.net的domain。也想過做藥劑師，喜歡(HKCEE level) chemistry，加上可以對著牆壁埋頭苦幹，不用向外對人就最開心。以上所有，都消失得無影無蹤。

之後呢。之後我只會跟隨其他人的expectation與social norm去做事。抹殺真正意願。所以最快樂的時光，是上一年在日本的三個月。第一，去日本是我自己的決定，也算是bucket list上的其中一項。第二，三個月期間，所以decision都是purely driven by 自己的心意，沒有任何external factor 影響，所以一次seizure都無。

到了今時今日，你再問我我的理想是甚麼的話，我只會像一個老人癡呆症的人一樣，一一忘光了。No matter by what method，追求的只剩下兩樣－－優越感＋自己與家人有更好的生活質素。

前幾天，才在facetime跟h討論“到底人生的意義是甚麼“
”為甚麼突然怎麼感慨？“ h笑問。
“因為很快就會死。我的人生已經過了四份一了，一個人在地球上的life span在時間洪流上只是容許出現一瞬間，那為甚麼我會在這裡？”快要睡著的我喃喃道。
“why am i here這類問題，那要問你爸媽了哈哈哈” h沈思了兩秒笑說。
“yeee唔係吖-_-，認真”
“人生的purpose就是讓身邊的人快樂，唔駛多，可以是四五個，不用這麼偉大”

____________________

經過一晚entrepreneurial/ academic/intellectual 的神經刺激
回想三綱八目，格物致知誠意正心修身齊家治國平天下。
先要修身齊家，才可治國平天下。凡是一步一步來。
沒有根基是上不了去的。
要常懷感恩珍惜的心，問心無愧，不要‘愛得太遲’。
就算平了天下卻忽略自身家庭的，到頭來都是得個零。

bucket list多了4個

1）張氏家族四個人一起拿一個patent，無論性質有幾無聊都好 哈哈（發現身邊很多人都有個人專利的。。）
2）與哥哥part time創業，其實一直都有講，但無認真對待過
3）畢業後weekend參加禪修班＋做義工教小朋友
4）無論如何在我死前日本語一定要進修到business level （都這麼多年了orz）

有一种成就叫“圆满”，有一种离开叫“永生”，有一种尊重叫“敬仰”，有一种失去叫“痛惜”。功德圆满，极品人生。

Salute to Steve Jobs!

Of course it was impossible to connect the dots looking forward when I was in college, but it was very, very clear looking backwards 10 years later. Again, you can’t connect the dots looking forward. You can only connect them looking backwards, so you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something–your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever–because believing that the dots will connect down the road will give you the confidence to follow your heart, even when it leads you off the well-worn path, and that will make all the difference.

Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work, and the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking, and don’t settle. As with all matters of the heart, you’ll know when you find it, and like any great relationship it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking. Don’t settle.

Almost everything–all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure–these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.

Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma, which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice, heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.

Thanks for the inspiration and your contribution to the world.
From a (1) macbook air, (2) iPad, (3) iPod Touch, (4) iPod Nano, (5) iPod Nano and (6) iPod Shuffle owner

(bringing the little girl around MIT)
girl: gum你報mit個application essay係寫meh架？
me：一次有如世界末日既經歷
girl：哦！你係米寫你搞個展覽，然後之前個晚打風？
me（shock！）：下，點解你會知
girl：我睇過本書裡面好像有講
me：下……

“We intentionally didn’t put friends into the same team…you see, if you screwed up your project in the end, you still have a friend.”

“Learning creative trading strategy is like working for a 3-star michelin restaurant. But before that, you have to learn the mechanics like the EWMA, GARCH model. They are like mcdonalds..but it is the chain restaurants that make an impact in the world.”

“Whenever you see big derivative losses, it’s always Merr1ll Lynch.”

F: “Is starting salary very important?”
H: “Yes it determines the DCF of your rest of your life”
F :”Then how important is ur life DCF?”

A :”I am a bullsh!t person..I get by my life by bullsh!ting. nothing hardcore.”
F :”If this is the case then you are very legendary.”
A :”..Though sometimes I wonder how far this pseudo-hardcore would take me.”

I: “Okay, let’s warm up with some brainteasers.”
F: “Sorry but I am not a brainteaser person.”
I:” Alright it’s fine. let’s move on then.”

_____________
一位14歲的Paul Con 妹妹將會跟她爸爸由香港飛過來Boston，
到MIT Harvard campus tour。
經朋友的朋友隔three degrees的介紹，說這位小妹妹天資聰穎，
拜託我見到她時，要多教她如何準備攻進美國名大學。

(1) 我14歲的時候，都沒有搞清楚harvard cambridge oxford到底在美國或者是在英國。
(2) 現在的家長真的有點過分周到。記得跟另一位家長聊天，他連SAT的mock試題自己也先做一遍，再跟女兒一起背讀生字。
(3) 雖然我琴棋書畫運動無樣精，但幸好我爸媽一直都讓我自由奔放。當下整個大氣候都越來越competitive，大家都望子成龍，作為小朋友越來越艱難。
(4) 所以，如果有一天要做start-up的話，target怪獸家長們絕對profitable。有無人想做我partner? :P

金正日男孫Han Sol Kim將入讀波士尼亞的United World College，這位史上第一位北韓UWC pioneer，最近成為了網上最viral的話題之一。跟同學聊聊，原來金正日的三兒子早在十多年前在瑞士接受西方教育，他的後代到外留學亦非第一次。但這次不同的是，UWC辦學宗旨提倡文化尊重包容，支持celebration of difference，sounds like一旦金正日接班人接受了我們的洗禮，這個世界就得救了。大家反應如一，回響節錄：

(1) “Kim’s grandson is in UWC!! this is seriously hilarious! UWC has been making a difference for my life. Hope it will be doing the same on him and so to make a difference on others “~ 來自一位現於big 4 工作的校友。

(2) “Because I had played a significant role in setting up Kim’s enrollment…As a result, I broke my silence.”剛請辭的澳洲校長，亦忍不住要在個人網誌裡自賞一下自己可等勞苦功高。

實話實說，回首當年同校的同輩前輩，可惜，有志全職延續uwc精神的人可真少之極少 (so i especially appreciate my frens who are really making an effort to continue the spirit in their free time!)。其實這個辦學團體是否被overrated了？眼見很多非uwc朋友亦同樣熱衷社會服務，到底這所學校訓練出來的學生是否如mission statement一般與眾不同？於mit的uwc學生gathering，能connect到大家的都是heavily weighted on比較high-level的 multicultural environment 學習經歷，而不是更深層次的世界大同理念。

As an inactive member of the community，我知道I’m in no position to criticize anything。但evaluate一下在這學校兩年對我in terms of intercultural understanding的influence，其實或多或少都與college的生活有點duplicate。例如大學的cultural nights/evenings or anything that promote international xyz ，理應感新奇興奮，卻有已經屢見不鮮的感覺。林林種種的同類活動，預科兩年已以極高intensity經歷過，來到美國，就有如過著反迫歸真的生活。

To be honest，在李寶椿兩年的takeaways的確有很多，但這些specific影響，難道真的可以與金氏偉大改變北韓封閉暴政相提並論？